A cozy, quilting story for your winter and wintry Tuesday. From Sunday's New Castle Courier-Times. Hope you're having a great week. 

By Donna Cronk

​For Carolynn Hyde of New Castle, it started with a hobby, then became a treasured activity. Now her quilted creations are part of a home-based business, Carolynn’s Treasures. 

Carolynn and husband Bill relocated to New Castle from Indianapolis a couple years ago to be near their daughter, Lynnda Sparks and family. Bill is a retired pastor and Carolynn worked in administrative assisting. Married 51 years, both are retired.

They lived in a variety of locations during their working years, from Kentucky to several Indiana locations to West Virginia and Maryland before they started a church in Indy. They now attend Chicago Corner Church.

A graduate of Aresenal Technical High School, Carolynn was taught to sew in school where she also learned to make hats. She used to make her daughter’s clothes. In 1994, she visited a Greenfield quilt shop and began attending a quilting club. She began making quilts for herself and as gifts.

Several hundred quilts later, she sells them as a vendor at special events, at the Henry County Farmers Market, and does custom orders. She also makes appliqué-embellished bibs and T-shirts. 
“Appliqué is my favorite quilting technique,” says Carolynn. “It has more character than regular pieced quilting.”

That character is quickly evident inside the Hyde home where a whimsical chicken-themed quilt hangs on the dining- room wall. Carolynn says it’s one of her favorites. “They’re (chickens) goofy looking and you can make up things that they’re saying,” she says. Chicken-themed place mats are found on the dining-room table to go along with the quilt.

Nearby is a cat-themed quilt, also on the wall, and a snowman wallhanging. The snowman is part of series of seasonal quilts Carolynn has completed to showcase each month of the year in a unique and colorful way.

“With quilting, there’s not very many rules,” Carolynn says. She enjoys embellishing some of her work with buttons. “You can change it. My daughter says a pattern is a suggestion.”

Along with her daughter, who also quilts, the Hydes have a son Jeffrey, who lives in Pennsylvania. The Hydes have three grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

The handiwork is all machine-quilted but Carolynn hand-binds the backing.

When asked about the appeal of quilting, Carolynn says, “Because it is so versatile. It’s not cookie-cutter anything.”

She comments that if six women all created the same quilt, each one would look different.
Carolynn has her own designated quilting room, which she thoroughly enjoys. When asked what advice she has for those who might like to try their hands at quilting, Carolynn says to start small with a small project such as a mug rug to see how they enjoy it. “That way they get an idea if they want to pursue this.”

She enjoys teaching quilting and the small mug-rug projects and welcomes opportunities to do so.
She’s thinking of expanding her business to make rag dolls, another thing she enjoys.

Of quilting, Carolynn says, “You can just let your imagination go wild.”

To connect with Carolynn, call her at 317-536-2906 or email: cjhydeaway@sbcglobal.net.

This article appeared in Sunday's New Castle Courier-Times. It was a thrill to see the memorial during a night tour of capital monuments last month.

By Donna Cronk

This year’s celebration to honor the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. will take place in New Castle at 6 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 20 at The Place, 205 S. 21st St.

The evening features a program along with song and liturgical dance. An optional dinner will be served at 5 p.m. for anyone interested. Everyone is welcome to the meal and / or service. No reservations are needed for either.

Sponsoring New Castle congregations are First United Methodist Church, The Place, Bethany Tabernacle Church, Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, First Friends Meeting and St. James Episcopal Church, among others, according to the event facilitator, Barry Cramer.

Cramer, of Richmond, is an ordained deacon at St. James Episcopal Church. He will speak on the topic, “Finding Beloved Community.” He says that to him, the concept of beloved community means to recognize a shared human nature among people, and a calling to drop divisions along with discovering how we can all get along while recognizing our commonality.

“I believe the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday should be a holiday for all Americans, not just for the African-American community,” he said. “Our observances should be more than just remembrances of his life, but opportunities to be reminded what he taught – and to learn from him.”

He understands King’s message as one of racial reconciliation, economic justice and use of non-violent means to work toward justice and peace. “He was a contemporary prophet,” says Cramer. “He was a Nobel laureate because of his work. His stature compels us all to honor and learn from him.”
Along with his address will be various readings and prayers. The evening also features vocal music presented by several of Rosie Hua’s voice students; Stacey Torres is providing a liturgical dance accompanied by Hua singing, Kay Rogers on the flute and Sam Hua on the piano.

Cramer estimates that between 60 and 80 people attended last year. He hopes the annual tribute will continue. He would like to see more student involvement such as possibly writing or art projects, and possibly organizing a trip to the Underground Railroad Museum in Cincinnati.

He also welcomes involvement of additional churches. Any individual or church interested in becoming involved with next year’s program is welcome to email him at deaconbarryc@gmail.com.
Along with serving as a deacon, Cramer is a behavioral clinician in the addictions field at Meridian Health Services at the Addictions and Recovery Center in Richmond. He has also worked in blue-collar jobs, in the legal field, in mediation and conflict resolution.

His bachelor’s of arts degree in social sciences is from Ohio State University. He has a master of divinity from the Earlham School of Religion and a juris doctor (J.D.) from the International School of Law, now George Mason University School of Law.

The federal holiday of Martin Luther King Jr. Day is Monday, Jan. 21. 

The weekend shifted from Plan A to Plan B on Friday.

I was supposed to go with a group of friends to Terri's lake house in Brown County this weekend. We were ready to enjoy the fireplace, movies and HGTV, someone was bringing a craft, we'd have all the yummy food we could eat, and then some. The conversation would be enjoyed along with the naps and weekend of carefree relaxation.

Then came Winter Storm Gia. Since when did they start naming snowstorms?

With predictions of 5 to 7 inches of the white stuff, we canceled early yesterdy morning. But Terri offered a consolation prize: Why don't we come over Friday night for a soup supper? So we did, joined by two of her sisters and even a craft.

It's after 2 Saturday and Gia is still doing her thing. We've had four or five inches of snow by now, with more coming. We gathered groceries yesterday  and in a couple of hours the Colts will take the field in Kansas City in the NFL Playoffs. Life is good.

I've got McClellan Sisters' Homemade Vegetable-Beef Soup in the slow cooker, the last of the dirty clothes in the dryer and the unexpected snow day is working its usual magic, which means I'm in organizational overdrive. I cleaned out and organized all the tubes, jars, bottles, sprays and other weird bathroom miscellany and then hit my clothes closet.

If the Colts make me nervous, and they will, I'll find something else to organize. Somehow, it's a good activity for me for jazzed-up nerves.

Snow, ice and other winter weather issues take their toll before spring's arrival. But for today, the snowfall is a novelty as the weather has been a breeze so far. The house is cozy, the pantry is full, our team is in the Playoffs! So go Colts! Go Gia!

Now that I’ve settled into age 60, I have a few observations.

One over-arching theme of 60 is humility. It’s humbling to recognize that so many cliches about one’s – ahem –advanced years are now true. Attention young people: Yes, I'm talking to you 59-year-old whippersnappers. Please take notice when your elders offer these thoughts because your day will come sooner than you think.

Now don’t tell me about those rare birds running marathons at 90 or Betty Giboney holding down a full-time Courier-Times reporter’s job at 78 by day and keeping up with her ballet exercises by night. I’m talking about  those regular earthlings among us whose hearing, knees and hips offer a challenge or three.

Down side: I know that my hearing isn’t what it was. Up side: my lip reading has improved because Brian has been telling me that my hearing is failing for so long that I don’t have to hear the words, only watch his mouth move. Curiously, I have no problem hearing my knees creak. 

But there’s more good news! I’d always heard that older people don’t need as much sleep and that they get up by choice at ridiculously early hours. Well, it’s true. It started happening to me pretty suddenly. I don’t mind rising at 5:45 a.m. I’m up at least a couple times in the night as it is and sometimes then I find myself thinking, Good. I’ve only got another hour before it’s a respectable time to stay awake.

I enjoy that early hour alone to sip black coffee and quietly welcome the day. I also find that I now need the extra time to make myself presentable because I clearly deteriorate in the night. Getting up early means I don’t have to rush. I’m tired of rushing. I like a slower pace, and if you can’t have a slower pace at 5:45 a.m., when can you?

That’s supposed to be a rhetorical question, but the answer might be 7:30 p.m. when I’m sometimes ready for bed. And hey, that’s just science; everything has an equal and opposite reaction.

What I also notice is how quickly time not only rushes by, but seems to evaporate before my eyes. I will think of a story I wrote  two years ago only to find that I actually penned it six years ago. Or say we visited my brother and sister-in-law in Liberty a month ago. Then I find out that no, it was actually two months ago. 

I don’t know how it is that we find ourselves in 2019. Time travel? If the world doesn't stop revolving so fast, I'm going to need a seatbelt installed in my easy chair. 

My church-women’s life group is called the Midlife Moms, or MLMs for short. What a difference a dozen years make. At age 48, we were legit at midlife. After all, if we lived to be 96, which of course we all intended to do, as though we had any say in the matter, we were midlifers with years to spare. Even at 52, we could each name someone we knew who made it to 104. So sure, we could claim midlife.

But at 60? That means we’d have to live to 120 to truly be at midlife right now!  OK, we’re officially pushing it.

What I also know about 60, though, is that traditional time tables have shifted. For years I compiled mental lists of my best stories in case I needed the clips for future job opportunities. Brian checked out the job boards to keep an eye on what administrative positions were open. Just in case, you know. 
Or we’d talk about how “someday we’d like to visit there,” regarding a vacation spot.

What I know now is that we’re no longer interested in future career moves to something bigger and better. Brian is retired and doesn't want to run anything. And if we’re going to visit a certain vacation spot, build a dream house, or even buy a new sofa, it's time.

Yes, it’s time to fill that bucket list with ideas for what's next. And to use the good bubble bath.

The time is now to keep writing regular devotions about God’s input in my ordinary life, something that I enjoyed and felt challenged by last year. The time is also now to do my best to get and stay as healthy as is within my ability – knowing that health of every kind is priceless.

And maybe, we should think about renaming our ladies life group. A friend in Ohio mentioned that in her church, women of a certain age have a group called WOW. I would like to be a WOW. What woman wouldn’t?
​
In her church, the group stands for Wise Older Women. Yes, that’s it! I would like to be a WOW! And I would like to start NOW.

Donna Cronk is Neighbors editor of The Courier-Times and edits the quarterly her magazine for women. This column originally appeared in the Sunday, Jan. 6, 2019 issue.

"Where are the scissors?"

There's no excuse for why I can never seem to find a pair when I need them but it's always the case with office supplies in our house. The problem is that we have multiple depositories throughout our home for various kinds of tape, paper, writing utensils -- and scissors.

I did a quick scissors inventory and found myself surprised at the quantity--if not quality. Yet I know that if I kept looking, the number would double. There's a pair in a library table that, as my mother used to say, "Wouldn't cut hot butter." There's a pair in our vanity that despite terrible care and a layer of rust, is so sharp and efficient, they could probably double in brain surgeries.

The sewing basket contains a pair of pinking shears. I don't know when the last time was that I needed them, but pinking shears were precious to my mother, who sewed often. While Mom had few demands on her belongings, her instructions on the pinking shears were firm: They are only to be used on fabric.

One surprise is how many pairs of the boys' elementary-school scissors we have around the house. One is even engraved with "Ben Cronk." I'm impressed that some once-upon-a-time elementary school teacher was so organized and foresighted as to take the time to do the inscription.  Who could toss an engraved pair of her boy's little-kid scissors? Not me.

The ones with the big, gray handles are kitchen shears which have come in quite handy and by some miracle,  I've managed to keep them well-confined to the utensils drawer.

The rusty ones with the well-used black handle? They still work well, along with the metal ones. The red and orange blades are probably the most functional of the lot for the general functions of slicing and dicing through paper. I do that a lot.

So now that the blog is up, I'll spread out this army of knives throughout the house, placing them in "handy" spots. And then, when I need a pair ... I'll search.

Do tell

What duplicate tools do you keep around your house that you still can't find when needed? Or, what organizational tips can you share with the rest of us who aspire to the ultimately organized home, but to date, fall short?

With the first full shortest day of the year's arrival, Brian and I had a much-welcome low-key day enjoying some of life's simple pre-Christmas pleasures. We decided with winter's arrival, we should change out the sheets to flannel.

Of course Reggie had to check out the process. Brian washed the regular sheets and as he put them in the linen closet, said, "They're ready for spring." Spring? On the first day of winter, spring seems almost mythological in concept. Yet, time seems to speed up with each passing year, and it will  be in shorter order than we imagine that Easter will be here.

I know this: the soft, warm sheets felt heavenly last night.

When I was a kid, I didn't care a bit for cranberries. They weren't something we had much, and I have no memory of Mom doing anything with the actual produce.  Somewhere along the way, I discovered cranberries in a new way, and while they aren't something I think about apart from the holidays, that might be changing.

You might know that I've been on Weight Watchers in a serious way since Jan. 5. I love the current program, and it's working! I'm always looking for something new that works well with my program and this week, I got a hankering for cranberries.

So without a recipe, I decided to "lighten up" homemade cranberry sauce. What I came up with is zero points for the whole big bowl full. I bought a bag of raw cranberries and boiled them in a saucepan with one cup of water and several individual packets of sweetener.

It wasn't long before they were boiling and the berries popping. I turned off the heat and with the boil still going, quickly added one regular-sized box of sugar-free, instant cherry gelatin. I stirred and added a cup of cold water. I poured the mixture into a serving bowl and added some orange slices and chopped celery.  Nuts would go well, but I avoided them for the calories involved.

Into the fridge it went and wow! I ate my fill.

Let's just say today I'm making it again. You're welcome.

I turned on some Christmas programs and finished wrapping gifts in the afternoon. Here they are, ready for Christmas day.

Some years I do paper themes or otherwise coordinate. This year's theme was that there wasn't one. I used this-and-that leftover wrapping paper from previous years, gift bags and bows recycled from previous use.  And I still have paper left over for next year.

It was a good first day of winter. Hope yours was the same. Go Colts!

When he and Dolley owned the estate, 100 enslaved people lived on the grounds. Slave quarters are located on the property and today, their roles are recognized in a public way as "Slavery-Madison's worst regret."

Other areas explored in a tour include Madison the man, The Constitution and Bill of Rights and America's First Lady Dolley Madison, who insisted that White House staff save the portrait of George Washington on the wall before the mansion was burned by the British in the War of 1812.
​
​We were then able to see the painting in the East Room of the White House later in the week, below.

The following column is reposted from the Sunday, Dec. 16 issue of The Courier-Times of New Castle, Indiana. Part II appears in tomorrow's issue and I will repost as well after it is printed.

By Donna Cronk

WASHINGTON, D.C. — When Tom and Sue Saunders of Lewisville planned a historic group Christmas tour of Washington, D.C. and key Virginia sites, Brian and I wanted to join the fun and included our pals, Tom and Char Kuhn.

Among the 120 Hoosiers who filled two charter buses earlier this month were a number of Henry County residents, ready for adventures that included visits to the homes of four U.S. presidents, including the White House; attending an evening production of A Christmas Carol at Ford’s Theatre; a talk and book signing by Jackie Kennedy’s White House personal secretary; a tour inside Vice President Mike Pence’s ceremonial office – and – a surprise appearance by him.

Apparently December is a great time to visit these historical sites because there were no huge crowds nor long lines. But then, these cities know how to handle tourists, along with the fact that Tom and Sue have coordinated historical-themed tours for years and are adept at securing advance tickets as well as one-of-a-kind surprises.

The top surprise came after the group filed into the gorgeous Eisenhower Executive Office Building, where the Vice President’s ceremonial office is located. It was the day of late President George H.W. Bush’s funeral in Houston and many or even most among us speculated that Pence was in Texas.

Shortly after spotting (and Brian speaking to) Indiana University graduate and billionaire Mark Cuban outside the building, we cleared security and walked down the hallway, passing such offices as the National Security Council. We were escorted into a conference room where we listened to Hoosiers with federal  jobs talk about their work.

As one of them fielded a question from a Noblesville junior-high student, a collective murmur swept through our group. I looked up to see Pence strolling into the room. Many burst into applause and stood to greet the Vice President.

He seemed touched and delighted to recognize many familiar faces and appeared happy to share comments about his job. I had no notebook in which to cover  his remarks. We had come from a White House tour where we were unable to take bags of any kind.

Pence spent a relaxed half an hour with his Hoosier guests, inviting folks to ask whatever they wanted about his job or family. He was asked about wife, Karen, and he said she is doing very well, as is the rest of his immediate family.

He said that daily, President Donald Trump gets up, asking him what they are going to accomplish that day. The Vice President was told by one in the group that she has campaigned for him in all his elections and wonders if there will be another chance to do so, alluding to the office of President. Pence didn’t commit, but said he’ll see what happens after the next six years.

Although I was there as a tourist, not as a news reporter, I felt unrestrained in moving about the room looking for photo opportunities and despite Secret Service there, was able to freely approach, shake hands with and speak to Pence. 

Once he left, the group was able to continue this unique experience by visiting his ceremonial office, and get photos taken behind his desk upon which personal memorabilia was neatly arranged. We walked around the room and onto his private balcony with the White House within shouting distance, gaining an interesting perspective.

The People’s House at Christmas
Earlier in the day, we went through several security checks, just as we did at the Eisenhower Building, to make our way inside The White House to see the home of every U.S. President minus George Washington, adorned for the season. We walked among the forest of red-berried trees in a breezeway-type area adjoining the White House and examined the elaborately festooned 57 real evergreens that hail from throughout the nation.

Touring the White House’s first-floor public rooms is self-guided but, Secret Service personnel are stationed in each room, prepared to answer questions. Guests may take as long they wish examining the home and decor, as well as taking photos, but once they leave, they are unable to re-enter.

The China Room sported a special display of china, glassware and vermeil table settings selected from three state dinners hosted by Presidents Theodore Roosevelt in 1901; John Kennedy in 1961 and Donald Trump this year.

The East Room is the top entertainment space at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Room theme is the nation’s architecture and design as shown in mantelpieces and on the 14-foot Noble fir trees. The Green Room includes American-grown produce throughout its decor and features a portrait of Indiana’s only U.S. President, Benjamin Harrison.

The official White House Christmas tree, a soaring 18-feet-high Fraser fir, centers the Blue Room. This is the tree that received horse-drawn-carriage delivery to the First Family. Blue-velvet ribbons spell out each state and territory name, hand-blown glass ornaments cover the tree and gold accents everything, matching the room’s permanent furnishings.

The Red Room is decorated to highlight various ways that children may excel in their own ways. The decor includes influences of First Lady Melania Trump’s BE BEST initiative.

The State Dining Room sparkles with an abundance of national symbols as the theme. Guests are encouraged to look for such symbols as bald eagles, bison, roses and oak leaves. This is also where the annual gingerbread house is displayed – incorporating a cityscape of Washington, D.C. into its 225 pounds of gingerbread dough, 110 pounds of pastillage dough, 25 pounds of chocolate and 20 pounds of royal icing.

In the Grand Foyer and Cross Hall, an assortment of lit trees are adorned simply in white lights and red Christmas balls. Presidential and First Lady portraits abound in The People’s House, with a special place of prominence for the black-draped portrait of President George H.W. Bush, who was laid to rest in Houston the day we visited.‘

A Christmas Carol’ in Ford’s Theatre
If direct contact with a U.S. Vice President and a tour of the Presidential mansion are not enough for one day, there was more: taking in A Christmas Carol in Ford’s Theatre. The performance was brilliantly done, just as good in my humble opinion as the Broadway show we caught earlier this year (the Broadway show, by the way, was considerably pricier).

As we viewed the performance, which featured interesting special effects, including flying, I found myself looking often toward the presidential box, adorned as it was that fateful night of April 14, 1865 when President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated there by actor John Wilkes Booth who then jumped onto the stage where a play was being performed.

Although I fought nodding off in the dark, warm theatre due to getting up before 5 a.m. that day and fitting in so much, I couldn’t get enough of the experience of being in that historic setting.

Up on the hill
Friday we headed to Capitol Hill where we toured our nation’s Capitol, then lunched at the Capitol Hill Club. Much of the group then went to Georgetown to visit some key Kennedy sites and shops.

Our foursome, however, decided this was our chance to experience the most-wanted-to-do list item on our friend Tom’s bucket list: a trip to the National Archives to view The Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution, among other priceless documents.

It proved an ideal afternoon to do so with no waiting in line. We spent the evening on a tour of top outdoor monuments along with the National Mall Christmas tree.

Off to Mount Vernon, by George
The next day we enjoyed our breakfast in The Mayflower Hotel, then boarded the bus for yet another treat: a trip to George Washington’s estate, Mount Vernon, in Virginia where we toured the home he and Martha shared, and our group got to lay a wreath at their tombs, evident on the property.

The house tour did not disappoint as we learned about the Washingtons’ lives on the estate, and heard interesting commentary such as that green was a popular color to paint rooms of the day as it represented wealth – a color still evidenced today in paper money.

Life with Jackie Kennedy
Then it was on to a buffet at the Mt. Vernon Inn where we were joined by author Mary Barelli Gallagher, who was a secretary to John Fitzgerald Kennedy and then the personal White House secretary to First Lady Jackie Kennedy.

At age 91, she delivered an insightful speech about what it was like to work for the Kennedy family. Not only did she handle the family’s personal bookkeeping and correspondence but had such a close family-type working relationship that Caroline and her mother visited the Gallagher home where Caroline played with Gallagher’s sons. Kennedy pets were sent to stay at Gallagher’s home.

Gallagher also had copies of her book, “My Life with Jacqueline Kennedy,” originally published in 1969 and reprinted, available for purchase. Following her talk, she took questions. I asked her about that terrible day in Dallas when JFK was assassinated. The author took about 15 minutes to answer in detail.
She accompanied the Kennedys to Dallas that day and selected the gloves Jackie wore. She recalls seeing them later that day, blood-stained, lying across a newspaper with a now-chilling headline about how Dallas welcomes the president.

Gallagher was asked by a key hospital figure to stand by Jackie to offer support when the First Lady was told that the President had passed. She was there, in fact, when Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in. I later found a photo of her in the group present during that historic moment.

Just as she was counted on for honest opinions on how Jackie looked in her clothes, she says she compiled the book as a historical record depicting the First Lady as a real person, wife, mother and seeker of perfection in art and life. She is asked what Jackie was really like, and answers that she was a real human being with many facets to her life.

“My purpose in writing a book was for history,” Gallagher said. Many autographed copies of her book were sold to members of our group who got to meet and greet the author. I’m reading it now and can hardly put it down.

Today I welcome guest blogger, author, and journalist Christina Ryan Claypool of Ohio. Above, she reads a portion of her new work of fiction, "Secrets of the Pastor's Wife: A Novel," available on Amazon, where excellent reviews are coming in. I added mine to the mix, giving it five stars. Maybe you'll check it out. It would make a lovely Christmas gift. Please also check out her website, listed at the end of this post.

The two of us met a few years ago waiting in line for coffee at a writing conference. We connected instantly, as we discussed so many things in common: our work in newswriting, fiction, and that both our husbands' careers are in public school administration. (Mine is now retired, hers is a school superintendent). Anyway, here's Christina.

By Christina Ryan Claypool

It was our last lunch together. My friend Kimberly had an aggressive form of cancer and
knew her time was short. I hadn’t accepted the fact yet, because she was only in her early forties
and had a loving husband and three children to finish raising. But she couldn’t fight anymore.
Preparing for my friend of almost two decades to visit that fated day six years ago, you
would have thought royalty was coming. I brewed a pot of piping hot flavored tea, and set the
dining room table with the good china, candles, and prepared a lunch feast, even though there
would only be the two of us.

Usually, lunch together meant going to a restaurant, but Kim had wanted to come to my
home. It was our custom to bless food wherever we ate. Truthfully, I can’t remember who said
grace, but I vividly recall her tell-tale prayer at the end, “And God, please give Christina a
friend.”

Now, wait just one minute, Kimberly. I don’t need a friend, I have you. This thought
raced through my mind denying the reality, she had already accepted. A few weeks later, she was
gone.

Those of you who have also lost a close friend, empathize with how painful this loss can
be. It’s a rare gift to find a faithful friend, although many folks have an ardent desire to
experience intimate friendship.

But is friendship becoming extinct? One of the reason’s I wrote my new book, “Secrets
of the Pastor’s Wife: A Novel” is because I’m worried about friendship. I’m concerned it might
soon be as outdated as last year’s technology, and I’m pretty sure technology is the culprit
deserving most of the blame.

To explain, recently a school bus filled with adolescents passed me when I was driving,
and I noticed a lot of their young heads were in a downward position. Many were probably
listening to music, texting, or checking their social media accounts on their smartphones. This,
instead of taking the opportunity to be social with the kid in the seat next to them.

Having a social media connection isn’t like having a faithful friend. A recent article on
www.healthline.com, “Social Media is Killing your Relationships” reports, “What if every like,
heart, and reply we give to someone on the internet is actually taking away from our energy for
offline friendships?” The article’s writer Jennifer Chesak appears to believe we might be,
“…unknowingly draining our social energy for in-person interactions.”

“Research shows that good friendships are vital to your health,” according to the
Heathline article. “More specifically, having close friendships correlates to functioning better,
especially as we get older.”

That’s why my recently released novel is about the friendship between an early 40s
pastor’s wife and a sixty-something widowed coffee shop owner. I chose to make the main
character a fictional minister’s mate, because there’s often an unrealistic stereotype for this
supporting ministry role, even within Christian circles.

I empathize with the difficulty these precious women can have when trying to find a
confidential friend to share their current issues or even past heartbreak. Since often we place
ministerial families under a microscopic lens of scrutiny, and have the unrealistic expectation
their lives should be perfect. Quite frequently, the needs and even existence of a pastor's wife can
also be overlooked, especially if her husband is an in-demand dynamic leader.

Plus, during my years working in broadcasting, I was asked to host a TV special, where
pastors' wives shared about their lives. One ministerial spouse was concerned about me
interviewing her, apprehensive over my understanding of her situation, so only minutes before
the show was to be recorded for broadcast, she anxiously asked what my husband did.
He's a public school administrator, I answered nervously, unsure of how she would view
this revelation.

But instantly, she visibly relaxed, smiled a wide smile, and teasingly joked that it's the same thing.
This wise lady understood whenever you are married to a man in any kind of leadership role,
it can be isolating and most challenging to find a trustworthy confidant, fearing you could
jeopardize your mate's position simply by being a flawed human being.

If we’re truthful, all of us are flawed, and burying our pain and problems forces us to
wear a societal mask. And masks can become a type of prison that morph into a lifestyle of
pretending everything’s perfect when everything’s a hot mess.

The bottom line of what “Secrets of the Pastor’s Wife: A Novel” is about is the desire
most women carry deep within to experience intimate friendship. The kind of friendship that
allows us to take our mask off, sit down with a steaming cup of coffee or hot tea, and pour our
worries out to someone who won’t judge us, and to be a listening ear in return.

Of course, if we’re married, our spouse should be our best friend, but as women we need
other females who will walk this crazy journey of daily living with us. We don’t require
hundreds of friends, not like on Facebook where friendship is created by clicking “confirm.”
Instead we need someone with skin on to put their arm around us or to pick up their phone at 2
am to be present in our time of crisis or heartbreak, and we should be there in return.

A friend like Kimberly was to me or like Katie in my novel. The widowed coffee shop
owner is a trustworthy confidant for Cassie, the pastor’s wife. I hope the book is an entertaining read. Yet at the end of the day, my desire is for this novel to provide comfort and encouragement
for everyone who needs emotional or spiritual healing or support, the kind of support friendship
provides. After all, that’s what friends do, they let us know, whatever we’re going through, we
are never alone.

Christina Ryan Claypool is a freelance journalist and an Inspirational speaker. Her
book, “Secrets of the Pastor’s Wife: A Novel” was released fall 2018. Her website is
www.christinaryanclaypool.com.